Discussing sex and porn with kids is essential. Melanie Grabski from True: Relationships and Reproductive Health and Alina Morawska, Deputy Director (Research), Parenting and Family Support Centre, The University of Queensland have revealed in an article that kids have greater access to pornography and sexually explicit content due to rapidly changing times and this makes healthy discussions by parents an important element of sex education.

The article points out the fact that parents underestimate the extent their children are exposed to pornography. Exposure to porn begins at around ten or 11 and increases with age. According to The Conversation, international estimates of porn exposure vary from 43% to 99% in older age groups.

Researchers say that even though young users of pornography have a generally permissive and relaxed attitude towards sex, they may lack the understanding of consent in sex, pleasure, safety or sexual health in relationships.

As per News.com.au , the article encourages parents to be more open about sexual discussions and children who receive sex education and understand sexual relationships are more likely to accept emotional and physical changes with confidence, take responsible decisions regarding sex life, love their bodies, accept and appreciate individual differences, communicate freely about sexual problems, understand inappropriate behaviour and feel good about their gender and respect all genders. More importantly, they are less likely to be abused or exploited sexually.

However, discussing respectful relationships and porn is dependent on the parents’ views on the topics as that are going to ultimately influence how they are going to discuss issues with their children. The Age reports that the experts suggest all parents must keep all communication channels open for their children. Being honest and truthful and imbibing family values and beliefs will make children open about pornography and sex.

Parents must also modify their discussions as per age group. Children under the age of seven or eight may not be able to understand pornography at all. Therefore, discussions should ideally revolve around consent, bodies being private, safety and personal space. It is not right to discuss pornography in great detail with a child who doesn’t understand the very meaning of it. However, if a child asks about sex after hearing the term somewhere, parents can tell them it’s for adults but at the same time not ignore their questions completely.

The experts say that conversations with children below the age of seven should be factual, carefully modified, brief and honest. Using correct terminology for body parts is important. Being prepared about sex-related discussions should be a priority as there is no “right time” for such discussions.

A parent might come across his/her child giggling at a woman's magazine. Just the mention of the word “sex” might induce the giggles. In such cases, engaging in a conversation to find out what the child finds inappropriate or amusing is vital rather than completely ignoring it.

Getting angry or shaming children for watching porn is never a solution. It only makes things worse as children are bound to become inquisitive as they grow older and pornography in today’s age is easily accessible. Hence, researchers urge parents to speak calmly about what they see.

Children should understand what they are seeing in porn movies is not reflective of most relationships, says the article. They should be aware of the fact that the sexual acts (consensual or non-consensual) may not portray reality.

The writers guide parents saying in case a child is watching excessive pornography, depraving or violent content, seeking help from a sexual health provider should never be overlooked. Parents can contact state-based family planning clinics for help.

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