Hugh Hefner, founder, editor-in-chief and creative officer of Playboy, speaks as he is honored with the Hollywood Distinguished Service Award in Memory of Johnny Grant by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce in Hollywood, California June 7, 2012.
IN PHOTO: Hugh Hefner, founder, editor-in-chief and creative officer of Playboy, speaks as he is honored with the Hollywood Distinguished Service Award in Memory of Johnny Grant by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce in Hollywood, California June 7, 2012. REUTERS/Jason Redmond REUTERS/Jason Redmond

Life inside the Playboy mansion is not all glamour and happiness, according to ex-Playboy bunny Holly Madison. Hugh Hefner’s former wife revealed in her new tell-all memoire that she even contemplated suicide during her stay at the mansion.

In an exclusive reveal by US Weekly of Holly Madison’s memoire entitled “Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny,” the ex-Playboy housemate details her harrowing experience inside the mansion, revealing her life as one of the “Girls Next Door” wasn’t as glamorous as it looked on T.V. According to the book’s publisher, Harper Collins, Holly Madison’s memoire details the betrayal and backstabbing done by other Playboy bunnies inside the mansion. The publisher, in an exclusive interview with U.S., assures her book will also reveal all the "oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation" and will detail Madison’s conflicts with "ambitious, backstabbing bunnies."

The drama inside the mansion eventually took its toll on the 35-year-old, who appeared on the E!-produced reality show “Girls Next Door” from 2005 to 2010. According to the book "life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all -- and quickly became her nightmare." Madison’s memoire revealed that after she lost “her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hope for the future,” she "found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide."

Entertainment Online added that Harper Collins had also mentioned that “Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny” will give a look at Holly Madison’s darker days inside the Playboy mansion. It will tell all of the behind-the-scenes life with her fellow “Girls Next Door” housemates Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson and of course with Hugh Hefner himself. Her memoire will reportedly also talk about life in general inside the mansion, the drug use, sex, the abuse and the infamous parties.

In an interview with US Weekly, Holly Madison said her memoir intends to give light to the misconceptions of glamour usually associated with being a Playboy bunny. It will give a glimpse to her life inside the mansion and details the lessons she’s learned from her experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy mansion.

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