Facebook: a Relationship Buster?
Networking technology, particularly Facebook, has been cited as a reason for relationship problems and breakups.
Social media has become a major part of modern life, and the degree to which people use networking technology indicate that its popularity and relevance will just continue to grow. According to Facebook's statistics, there are more than 750 million active users, 50 percent of which log on to Facebook at any given day. Australia alone has a total of 12 million users, as of May 2011.
As much as we'd like to focus on the bright side of how Facebook makes connecting easier for everyone, the reality is that nothing is perfect. And like any good thing, there is a negative side to it.
Studies on Facebook and Relationships
Studies indicate that networking technology, social media and Facebook are related to relationship troubles.
"Modern technology provides us with brilliant tools, but when its use becomes excessive and clutters the bedroom it can actually get in the way of relationships," said counsellor Christine Northam. Also, Facebook has even been cited in one in five divorces, according to lawyers, as published in the couriermail.com.au.
"There is less face-to-face contact", "People forget how to communicate in person" and "People spend too much time on the computer and not together," reports a Relationships Australia study, published on July 20, 2011.
Another study, published in the CyberPsychology & Behavior Journal, concludes that there is a "significant association between time spent on Facebook and jealousy-related feelings and behaviors experienced on Facebook."
The research was part of a larger study on what factors related to Facebook use by college students can contribute to jealousy. Results showed that access of information, relationship jealousy, Facebook addiction, and lack of context were the factors that contributed to jealousy on Facebook. However, the study also states that the personality type of users have a lot to do with the results. According to the study, some personalities do have a harder time trusting others and this can reflect on their reactions to Facebook content relating to their partners.
One more study by the University of Guelph Ontario reveals that Facebook can create a "negative feedback loop," wherein users log on more frequently because the photos and messages they see enable them to monitor communications. The open format of Facebook exposes users to information they would not otherwise see, and this can have a great impact on relationships.
How online connections can overpower real ones
To better understand why online connections can have grave implications on relationships with actual partners it's beneficial to see the psychology of it all.
"When two people strike up an e-mail or Facebook relationship, it's easy to begin idealizing each other and blur the line between fantasy and reality. An intense sense of intimacy is quickly fostered. The instant gratification of these technologies stimulates reward centers in the brain, and it's easy to find oneself craving the quick hit of an instant connection or lamenting its absence. Even without the senses driving attraction, the mind goes into overdrive and imagines that this is the perfect person and the perfect relationship," sex therapist and author Ian Kerner explains.
Combating Facebook troubles
What may seem harmless dilly-dallying with Facebook friends can actually affect how one perceives and nurtures relationships with people one is actually with. It pays to not be complacent about this. It may be hard to tackle, but dealing with Facebook related questions and issues with one's partner should be given priority. Partners should refrain from making presumptions about what they see online. Talking everything out, and taking time and effort to offer concrete gestures or comfort and love, is the answer.
Balancing time on the internet and real time spent with friends and loved ones is also important. People should spend regular time being off the online grid. This would give them opportunity to be present and experience the key people in their lives.